thegaywizardtriedtorunawaybuthe:

124 years old and still sexy

nightmareloki:

sauntering-vaguely-downwards:

rifa:

lalalovedisney:

What if Finding Dory isn’t about Dory getting lost like everyone apparently thinks it is? What if it’s about trying to figure out who she is and restore her memory? What if it’s about  f i n d i n g  DORY?

I wasn’t excited about this movie until this

oh god same

Wow, same

justmyflawedlogic:

oliviastarshippp:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS

fancyrussiansushi:

heyitspj:

scuzzmutt:

what is the purpose of training bras??? what are we trying to teach the boobs

they are trained to be the very breast

like no one ever bras

jakeenglish:

eytancragg:

jakeenglish:

the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part

deal with it

darkness without light is an abyss

light without darkness is blinding

you cannot have a coin with one side.

yo socrates it’s a fucking cookie

wenchymcwench:

We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our order. While we’re aproaching our table two people come in and they go to the counter:
‘Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended’ They pay for their order, take the two and leave. 

I ask my friend: “What are those ‘suspended’ coffees?”
My friend: “Wait for it and you will see.”

Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go. The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers - three for them and four ‘suspended’. While I still wonder what’s the deal with those ‘suspended’ coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the beautiful view towards the square infront of the café. Suddenly a man dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in throught the door and kindly asks
‘Do you have a suspended coffee ?’

It’s simple - people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who can not afford a warm bevarage. The tradition with the suspended coffees started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwitch or a whole meal.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have such cafés or even grocery stores in every town where the less fortunate will find hope and support ? If you own a business why don’t you offer it to your clients… I am sure many of them will like it.

 

Source : [x]

trollonasan:

groomp:

digital-rebound:

georgies-pornshop:

elfstaranymore:

creasepieces:

thelostsunprincess:

blankadude:

kabutocub:

Auto-Correct Catastrophes

Oh dear God.  I am crying right now.  My stomach hurts from laughing so much.

Homo hot lips is my favorite.

There are literally tears in my eyes.

BIRDSEED

HOMO HOT LIPS

There are tears in my eyes. Omg. 

Genital thunderstorm sounds pretty relaxing, don’t you think?

I lost it at ANUS

“I’m getting fisted right now”

primaera:

mcnuggetmane:

The greatest thing Lelouch did with his geass

idk man this looks like a Harlem Shake video

maybe-darren-knows:

you’ll wear that dress and i’ll wear that tie

you know

if i can get it on

triforcefox:

LOOK AT ALL THE LOVE WITHIN THAT TINY OWL